giving

i am struck by 2 things i've heard in the feast today:

1.) success due to grief (one source of pain)
2.) real giving is experienced when you give until it hurts

Grief, as mentioned in the talk, can be synonymous to fuel. This can either be ignited and explode or it can be harnessed to fuel a rocket! Grief, when channeled in a proper direction can really be a source of success. Grief would make you want to elevate yourself, to leave the awful situation you are in now. It can be transformed into an intense desire to change - to become better.  


My world came tumbling down a few months ago. I felt I lost everything... and I literally did ( or so I thought). I was in a state where I didn't know what to do, where to go and I felt like giving up so many times. I was surrounded by a whole lot of people and yet I felt alone. I've shielded myself from prying eyes. A lot of times, I went over and over what happened, and I had so many questions. I tried to logically find reasons and yet, all my efforts were futile. 


But then just when I hit rock bottom, God's grace rescued me. I may not have understood completely what His answers were to my queries but He sure did assure me He was there and always is. 


I know I have a lot to overcome and the intense desire to change isn't as intense as it should be yet. But I am crawling my way up and is praying I'd learn to walk and soon run fast to reach the top. I just am happy to see myself a lot better than I was a few months ago - something I never expected.


Real giving is giving until it hurts. Ouch! I might have been stingy for the last few years. Yay! I am guilty for not giving God what is due Him. I have been an unfaithful servant. But now, I aim to redeem myself and let God rule my world. Now, I resolve to do everything for His Glory!

And as I end, allow me to share with you a song that pierces through my heart everytime I hear it.


...God never let me go and I will hold on tightly to Him from now on...