A Different Christmas

I have been used to spending Christmas with enough money to buy presents for my family, relatives, friends and godchildren. I always start making my list early and by the time December comes, I am almost done shopping for those in my loooooong list. And I happily wrap each one of them. (my favorite part!)

I try to give something useful. If possible, I wanted my gifts with a personal touch. 

But today, Christmas is a bit different.  

I didn't have enough budget for my gifts.

I lack the time to buy them.

I feel a little bit incomplete. It really does happen when what you are used to doing, is suddenly stopped or changed.

But what does Christmas really mean? 

Will it be complete when you are able to give presents in your list of important people in your life?

Will it be complete when you are able to attend all the parties lined up before Christmas eve?

Will it be complete when you are able to greet everybody on your Facebook/Twitter accounts?

Will it be complete when you are able to attend all of the days for Simbang Gabi and all other days of obligation for the Advent/Christmas season?

Will it be complete when you are able to give yourself a Christmas gift?

This year, I'm going back to the heart of Christmas. ( got the line from a song).

Jesus Christ.

I wanted this season to be all about Him.

And through Him - I wish for peace of mind, forgiveness and restoration.

Today was the last day of the Feast for this year. And because of the talk given, it pushed me to write what I realized. (what a long introduction, huh?)

This year, Christmas is different because I was stripped off all the material things I wanted.

This year, Christmas is different because I rediscovered Jesus.

And as I look back, I am overwhelmed by HIS presence! Indeed, I have a BIG GOD!

And I've got nothing but thanksgiving for HIM.

2010 started with seemingly insurmountable storms.

My three-year relationship ended.

I resigned from my four-year work.

I got my savings depleted.

And yeah, some might have had bigger problems than those, but they really shook me. 

Suddenly,I felt uncertain. I was so lost and desperate. I felt alone. (haha! that sound so low!)

I never thought I would, but I hit rock bottom.

I struggled for a few months, hoping for the gloomy days to be over. 

And just as I was about to give up, the grace of God came pouring down.

He might have been knocking at my heart all along, but I was too busy nursing my broken heart and pride. 

And so today, I want to thank HIM for all that He has done for me - especially for this year.

He gave so much, I coudn't ask for more. He re-opened my eyes. Amidst the chaos in my heart, He slowly brought healing and comfort. And even if I started with a stormy year, I am ending it with a bang!

And so, this Christmas, I want to thank HIS instruments,

my family, who have silently shared my pains and tried hard to cheer me up,

Sharie (and Victor), truly, friendship knows no boundaries! I can't thank you enough for putting up with me,

my ever loyal gimikeros friends - i always knew you'd all be there,

my high school girl friends - thanks for lending your ears,

Jira, Chelle, Keicie, Zam, Mai, Melissa, Arcie, Donna, Cyrus & Germaine, Roben, I appreciate you all so much, true friends indeed!

Pao, thank you for the memories and the lessons,

my LOJ Family, for the spiritual nourishment, I won't be feeling better if not for the powerful talks and soulful worship songs

my (upper) CG, especially to Bro Aris & Sis Leen, the sharings made me realize a lot, 

my new CG group, T.G.I.W!, thanks for all the sharings, you all are blessings to me,

my new officemates, God answered my prayers through you.

to my many other friends, thank you :D

This Christmas, I may not have the means to give something of worth but know that I love you with the love of the Lord, and I thank God for letting me have precious relationships with you all.

This might be too cheezy already, but as I've said, I just want to thank the Lord for all He has done - and you're part of it. 

I pray that God will continuously shower you all with abundant blessings in all areas of your life! 

5 days more...MERRY CHRISTMAS!!! :D